The Electric Commentary

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

The Problem With Beer

Slate recently featured this article about the problems of the beer industry. Beer has a lot of problems, but the biggest problem is wine. Beer has let itself fall in with the processed, the mass produced, the fatty snack, and fast food. Beer is essentially a modern endeavor, involving metal parts and big barrels.

Wine is seen as organic, natural, and every batch is unique. Where macro-brews struggle for uniformity, wine wields its diversity like a scimitar, slashing beer's market share.

To some extent, microbreweries can combat this problem, but for the big brewers this problem may prove intractable. I have a suggestion for every major brewer. Embrace the modern, embrace technology, and go for a reduced hangover.

This is, I realize, in terrible taste. The very notion admits to the encouragement of binge drinking, and would almost certainly result in hundreds of lawsuits. I believe it would be worth it.

Drinking is fun, but the aftereffects are unfortunate. Why should this be? I suspect we only put up with it due to some deep-seeded puritanism embedded in all of us which tells us that we deserve it. This is ridiculous.

We now have some understanding of the hangover, and with that knowledge comes the power to stop it. I'm certain that if any major brewery put their R&D into the project that they could come up with some kind of intoxicant that significantly reduced or eliminated the hangover in all but the most extreme cases.

In short, breweries need to build a better beer, and this is the perfect opportunity to do so. They have the capital of a long-lasting well-established purveyor of mind-numbing intoxicants, and they have the research facilities ready to go. Do you remember that "flavored malt beverage" craze a few years ago, when beer companies made Bacardi Silver and Skyy Blue and other crap like that? The researches who figured out how to make beer taste like rum and vodka are probably sitting around doing nothing right now.

Alcohol is fine, and I'm glad that something like it is actually legal in this country, but it could use a tweak.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

A Reminder To All...

This moron is running for President:

While no stone should be left unturned in seeking to discover the nature of man’s origins, we can say with conviction that we know with certainty at least part of the outcome. Man was not an accident and reflects an image and likeness unique in the created order. Those aspects of evolutionary theory compatible with this truth are a welcome addition to human knowledge. Aspects of these theories that undermine this truth, however, should be firmly rejected as an atheistic theology posing as science.


 
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