The Electric Commentary

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

An Excerpt from Ryan's Diary

Dec. 15 2004,

A while back at work I screwed up big time. I mean, I made the boss look bad, indeed, I somehow managed to make the entire company look bad, and of course I made myself look like a colossal jackass. In fact, although the boss didn't point it out, I know in my heart that it could have been the greatest fuck-up in the history of the company. I was feeling really down, so I quit to avoid further justified ridicule and humiliation, and left the company with my head very, very high. I knew deep down that I was a total buffoon but at least I had my dignity. Today the boss called me, and you'd think he'd be still pretty sore about me making him look like a bigger simpleton than he makes himself look like, but deep down he's such a softy, and he said he wanted to give me a medal to make it up to me. I didn't know what to say. Here I had made a huge, giant, enormous mistake the likes of which fuck-up luminaries like Charlie Brown and Homer Simpson could only fantasize about and the boss wanted to give me a medal. What a guy! It made me feel like when I was in grade school, and although I came in last in the relay race, I still got that popsicle like everybody else!

2 Comments:

  • It's the Presidential Medal of Freedom from Responsibility!

    By Blogger PaulNoonan, at 12:31 PM  

  • I think that basketball announcers should start calling a botched slam dunk "pulling a Tenet."

    "KG strips the ball, he's all alone, look out below! Oh! He pulls a Tenet, and the Lakers pull down the board! Missed opportunity!"

    By Blogger RyanSimatic, at 1:24 PM  

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